If I Crash And Burn Let It Be In Your Arms
by LadyCizzle
Summary: It's been two weeks after Steve's arrest and Danny comes to a conclusion and a decision.  This is slash of the McDanno persuasion.


Summary: Hello to all. I am back once again with another fic for this fandom. I tried, I really did to stay away, but the muse kept calling me. Seriously that chick is deranged. I found that out especially after she sicked the plot bunnies on me and let me tell you those things are vicious and scary. Anyways so after being mauled by killer bunnies I finally did as I was told and wrote this out and get this, a sequel as well. My muse is very please, for now but I have no doubt she has those bunnies locked away for later use. Now enough about me and my problems, on with the story. Enjoy!

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><p>Disclaimer: I do not own this show. I repeat I do not own this show. Happy now CBS<p>

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><p>Author's Note: Slight spoilers for the finale episode so if you haven't seen, for some insane reason, you probably want to skip this. Also I just want to send a shout out to azurehart over at LJ who beta read for me. She was awesomely helpful and this is dedicated to her for her help.<p>

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><p><strong>If I Crash And Burn Let It Be In Your <strong>

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><p>The days passed by like a blur and before Danny knew it two weeks had passed since Steve's arrest for the murder of Governor Jameson and her assistant. Two weeks since Rachel jumped on a plane with Grace and went back to Jersey without him. Two weeks since he last talked to his daughter and Rachel unless one would count a text message sent to him a few days ago with the phrase 'false alarm'. Danny instantly knew what the message meant and he called Rachel numerous times to talk but all his calls went ignored. Control was slipping from his fingers fast so he focused his entire being on Steve. Instead of spending his days chasing down criminals and dodging bullets, he now kept his nose buried in paperwork and everything else he could use to exonerate Steve.<p>

He pounded his fist against the desk as he ran into another dead end. It seemed as if the heavens had banded together to keep Steve away from his team...his family. Even with Chin working inside the HPD and Kono and Jenna gathering intel on the side it still wasn't enough. The third week since 'All hell broke loose' was rapidly approaching and Steve was still rotting behind bars. Finally Danny couldn't take it anymore and pulled out his cell phone and called his ex-wife. It was nearly one in the morning on her side of the world but Danny didn't care. This ended now.

"Dammit Rachel pick up the phone or I swear to god-" he growled into the phone after the third ring. Finally a snappy British voice answered the phone.

"Dammit Daniel this better be an emergency," she hissed into the phone as she answered it.

"You bet your ass it's an emergency. A long overdue one since my ex-wife hasn't been answering or returning my phone calls for two freaking weeks!," he yelled angrily into the phone.

"I thought it was best if we had space," she replied curtly.

"Space. Space Rachel," he repeated again bitterly. "There's already five thousand miles of space between us. How much more space do we need?"

He heard her suck in her breath and he imagined her lips were pursed together. Her signature expression whenever she was becoming angry and not getting her way. "In case you've forgotten it's one in the morning where I am so if you'll excuse me-" she began but was cut off.

"I got the text."

"I know you did."

Danny let out a breath. "How did you find out...that there wasn't a baby."

"I went to the doctor for an official test and it came back negative," she replied nonchalantly. "The doctor explained it was a false positive, caused by stress."

"When did you have the test done?" asked Danny.

"A few days after we left Hawaii."

"And you decide to tell me through a text message almost a week after you found out!," Danny found himself yelling once more. Till this day Rachel was the only person he knew that could make his blood boil like a volcano on the verge of eruption and a part of him knew she got off on it. Not wanting to add more fuel to the fire, he forced himself to take a few calming breaths before speaking again. Standing up he began pacing across the floor trying to calm himself down. It wasn't working. " You know, sometimes Rachel you can be an evil bitch you know that," he replied with a shaky breath.

"How dare you talk to me like that!"

"No how dare you act as if everything that's happened is my fault. News flash it's just as much your fault as it is mine."

"My fault," she gasped. "I tried to give you a second chance. I left Hawaii for you."

"No you didn't leave you ran because that's what you do," stated Danny blatantly with a frown. "When your world's no longer perfect and not going the way you want it you run because you can't handle the reality of your life not being perfect."

"That's not true-"

But he cut her off before she had a chance to finish. "Look Rachel," he began bitterly. "I know how easy it is for you to sit there on your high horse and make me out to be the bad guy but the truth of the matter is we both fucked up. We were both running from ourselves and fell into something familiar and it was wrong. We were wrong," he finished.

"So are you telling me we only slept together because I was convenient."

"And I wasn't. You could have found someone else to express your emotions about your unhappiness with Stan to but you came to me and afterwards I foolishly thought we could have a second chance at this. Like I said I was wrong."

"No, we could have had a second chance at our marriage Danny but you, once again, put your job ahead of your family."

Suddenly he couldn't contain his anger any longer and he banged his fist against the wall. Not hard enough to create a hole but hard enough leave a pain in his hand for a few days. But Danny didn't care about his hand any more than he cared about sparing Rachel's feelings. "Steve's in jail Rachel," he spat violently into the phone. "My partner is in jail for a double homicide that he didn't commit. And Kono, you remember her right. The one Grace is completely crazy about had her badge taken away, suspended, and is under investigation by IA. Five-O is in shambles and I can't remember the last time I slept for more than three hours at a time. I'm sorry if you took me not making the flight as a sign that I don't care about my family but I can't abandon my team. I can't abandon him," he stated firmly.

"So you abandon us instead," she asked softly, hurt evident in her voice.

"I didn't abandon you Rachel and I would never do that to Grace, you know that. You could have waited for me but you didn't. You got on that plane and left without so much as a second thought about me or my well being. That action alone made me realize something."

Rachel paused for a moment before speaking. "What did it make you realize Daniel?"

"We're never gonna work," sighed Danny with a sad frown. "No matter how hard we try. I'm never going to be the man you think I should be. I'm never going to fit into your world and I'm sure as hell not about to change. I think it's time I find someone who will accept me for the person I am."

"You sound like you've already found someone."

"Maybe I have," Danny let slip and he let out a heavy groan when he realized his mistake.

Rachel didn't miss the slip and it didn't take long for her figure out the truth. "It's Commander McGarrett isn't it. I've seen the way you look at him when you think no one is watching."

"Rachel-"

She let out a heavy sigh. "Tell me the truth Daniel, I deserve that much," she replied quietly.

Danny didn't know why but he suddenly felt compelled to tell Rachel the truth about his feelings for his partner. "I don't know okay," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just...when Steve was forced into that police car and I looked into his eyes I saw so much hurt and anger and betrayal. Someone he trusted had lied to his face and played him like a fool and he only had seconds to process it all." He paused for a moment and let out another shaky breath. "But that look suddenly shifted and when he looked at me, focused on me I saw hope and trust and maybe...I don't know love there. He needs me to believe in him. To know that he has someone one his side who cares about him and won't give up on him. He needs me Rachel...I can't leave him."

"And what happens when you clear his name because I know you won't rest until you do. What then? Are you going to stay in Hawaii while Grace and I remain in New Jersey."

Danny shook his head. "I go where every Grace goes, you know that and if that means I have to come back to Jersey then so be it."

"But you won't be happy," whispered Rachel.

"I learned a long time ago that some people are meant for happily ever after," he chuckled sadly.

"That's a grim outlook on life."

"It is what it is."

She'd never heard Danny this defeated. Not even after their divorce or the move to Hawaii. That's when she knew he was right. They were both at fault. Together they were like oil and water, they were never going to mix well and it's time they stopped fooling themselves. Apart, maybe they stood at chance at becoming...something other than miserable.

It was too quiet for Danny's liking and if it wasn't for Rachel's breathing he would have thought his ex-wife hung up the phone. He was about to interrupt her thoughts when she spoke again.

"What if it doesn't have to be?"

"What?" he asked, confused by her statement.

"What if you could have your happily ever after too."

Then it clicked. "Rachel-"

But she continued speaking. "Daniel I know there are times I can be a cold hearted bitch, as you earlier put it, but I don't want to see you miserable anymore. Which is exactly what you'll be if you come back here again."

He could feel his stomach flip and his heart skip a beat. "So does that mean what I think it means."

"Just answer this one question," she snapped. "Do you believe the Commander feels the same way?"

"I'd like to believe so but we haven't had a chance to talk about it with him being in jail and all," answered Danny honestly.

"If you do find out that he does feel the same way are you planning on doing something about it?" asked Rachel.

"The moment he steps out of that gate I'm laying it all on the line and hopefully he does the same."

She could feel herself smiling. "I have no doubt that he will. I've seen the way he looks at you too."

Danny paused completely flabbergasted by Rachel's sudden change in attitude and couldn't mask the confusion in his voice. "But I don't understand," he stuttered. "You said this was Stan's home, not yours. Why come back?"

"Because it's Grace's home now and yours. You followed me once when I was looking for my happiness so maybe it's time for me to return the favor."

"And what are you going to do when you get a divorce. Not that the alimony alone won't cover all your necessities," joked Danny.

Rachel let out a giggle. "I'll find something. I have a friend that works as an executive for this big PR firm. I'm sure if I ask nicely she can find something for me there."

Danny let out a satisfied laugh of his own. "Okay, so after we clear Steve's name and put Wo Fat behind bars you'll come back and we'll try to learn to like each other again and raise our daughter the best way we can."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Good," he smiled. "Tell Grace Danno loves her."

"You can tell her yourself in the morning," she told him. "She'll be expecting your call."

The smile never faded. In fact it widen. "That's good. That's really good."

"Yes it is. Well if that's all I thinks it's time we get off the phone. It's really early here in Jersey."

"Right," agreed Danny, smiling. "I really should be working on Steve's case so you're right, it is time we say goodbye."

"Just make sure to take care of yourself," she said, concern dripping from her voice.

"I will."

They were silent for a moment until Rachel finally spoke once. more. "Well then goodbye Daniel."

"Bye Rachel," Daniel whispered as he hung up the phone feeling lighter than he had in weeks. Maybe there was a happily ever after for him after all.

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><p>And there is the first part. I will try to have the sequel up tomorrow, hopefully everything will go my way and you guys will get to read. Anyways, until next time,<p>

Keep on floating high on cloud nine,

Ladycizzle


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